Making Your Home a Safe Haven
Our homes should be the safest place on earth to raise our children and live as a family, yet they are turning into a danger zone and most parents wouldn’t even know it. As parents, we need to build the framework of the house. We can’t expect our children to make good choices if we are setting an example for them to follow.
I want to challenge you to make your home a safe haven with 9 principles that will help protect and build a haven for you and your family. There are many more principals that could be added to this list, and after you are done reading these I would encourage you to sit down and write a list of ways that would make your home more of a safe haven.
9 Safe Haven Principles
Our relationship with the Lord sets the tone of the house.
It is vital that we are in a right relationship with the Lord as we seek to guide and lead our children and homes in the ways of the Lord. Psalm 121 says that when we look to Him, He guards, protects, watches, keeps, shades, and preserves us. If our eyes aren’t on Him the rest of life gets off kilter.
Family time is crucial.
We should be spending quality time with each of our family members. Many times the mom spends time with her children and forgets (or doesn’t see the importance) to spend time with her spouse. Don’t neglect spending quality time with your family.
Be a listening ear.
Many times I do not want to take the time to listen to my husband or children. Some husbands and children never talk and you wish they would communicate more, but there will be a time when they are ready to talk. Make time to listen because if we don’t, they will find someone who will be their listening ear.
Set an atmosphere of godly transparency.
Our home should be one of encouragement, accountability, and transparency. We should be the first to say, “I am struggling with this” or “I have sinned and I am sorry”. When those in our home see a transparency they will be more likely to share when they are hurting, upset, in sin, or need help. We should not be above asking the people in our home for help even if it seems small and petty.
Make your home a fun place to be.
Your husband and children will want to be where it is fun. Your home should be inviting. You want to make it a place that your kids feel comfortable inviting people in to. You don’t have to go spend money buying the newest gadgets and games to make it a fun place. Fun is created from an attitude, not a thing.
Create an atmosphere where questions are welcomed.
Your family should be able to ask you any question. Any. Question. Sure, it might not be an appropriate time or place but let them know that you would love to answer that in a different setting or at another time.
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Live in peace and unity.
Seek peace and pursue it (Psalm 34:14, 1 Peter 3:11). Yelling, fighting, and slander should be off limits in the home. We all mess up and have days where yelling seems like the only option. When that does happen, apologize and be transparent about how you do not want this to be a normal practice in the house. Get it right immediately.
There is a need for a judgement free zone.
This is a specific place or time set up where anyone in the household can share anything without judgement. This doesn’t mean that people won’t have hurt feelings, nor does it eliminate the need for restitution and making things right.
It does create an atmosphere where sin issues can be lovingly resolved. This time should be opened with prayer.
It may be a child who has to confess pornography or a drug issue, it may be a husband who is having an affair, it could be a teenage pregnancy, a lie that needs to be exposed…etc. etc. etc.
This zone creates the opportunity for anyone in the house to get things right without the parents or wife freaking out and immediately throwing the person out of the house.
Our teens are hiding their secret sins because they don’t feel like they can go to their parents.
Our husbands are steeped in pornography because they are first addicted, but don’t feel like they have anyone to share their struggle with.
My husband counsels with so many men that can’t tell their wives what is going on behind the scene for fear that they will leave or hate them. We can’t make things right if we don’t ever address the issue.
A judgement free zone is an important zone to start the path to restitution.
There is no safety where sin is allowed to reign.
The whole purpose for a safe haven and refuge is for protection and security. Those two things cannot happen if there is sin in the camp.
I would encourage every household to go through the house with open eyes asking God what needs to go. Each room should be prayed over and purged from things that cause sin or bring sin into the home.
Maybe your closet is too full of clothing because you have too many material possessions.
It could be that your children have unsafe items in their room that need to be brought out into the light.
It could be that you are allowing your children access to unfiltered internet sites.
Closed doors allow for things to be hidden and secret.
Keep an open door policy. Be the parent. Get sin out.
A place where God is at work and prayers are being answered.
Many Christian homes are raising Christian atheists. You may ask, how? We are teaching our children about the God of the Bible and how powerful He is and how active the Word is, but our children never see this all powerful, living, and active God. He seems quiet and therefore there really isn’t need for a God who never comes to life. Many Christian homes teach great theology and that is wonderful, but if our families don’t see this living God we speak of, then they will see no reason to serve this unseen God.
As you review this list and create one of your own, please understand that I am not saying we will ever create the perfect atmosphere for our children. There is no such place under heaven. We can create a place that welcomes Christ more freely and abundantly into our homes.
What is your home like?
Is it a refuge and a safe haven of rest for your family, or is it a chaotic mess that needs examination?
I am a Pastors wife married to an awesome servant of God. I started the “Blogging Pastors Wife” many years ago to share our hearts and lives with people. The funny thing about my blog title is that I don’t even like to be called, “the Pastors Wife.” I honestly just want to be known as a servant of the Lord. I don’t find any fulfillment in the title, but great fulfillment (joy, pleasure, hope, EVERYTHING) in our God!
I trusted in Christ as Savior when I was 6 years old and at that time others saw great fruit in my life as a believer. I honestly loved the Lord but didn’t completely follow Him as Lord until my 4th year of college. At that time, God brought me to a place of complete surrender. Since then it has been my desire to serve Him with every part of my life.